Thursday, 27 October 2016

Bear's trip to GOSH

Recently Bear had to go to GOSH (Great Ormond Street Hospital) for some tests, it was a tough day but I'm so glad I filmed some of it if I'm having a tough day we can make it though the toughest ones.

Friday, 23 September 2016

Our Autumn Bucket List 2016

Whenever we start to approach a new season I like to have a list of things I'm going to try and do with Diddly and Bear to fill up our weekends, often they aren't very adventurous or extravagant but they give us little things to look forward to and they have really helped Diddly learn about the changing seasons over the years. I love sitting down with them and coming up with ideas together and planning little adventures. Autumn is my favourite season with lots of things to look forward to it has made out bucket list easy to fill.

 So here is our bucket list for autumn 2016:

  • Go for a walk in the woods and take hot chocolate with us
  • Conkers and have a conker fight
  • Cosy up under a blanket and watch a movie together
  • Go to a fireworks display
  • Attend harvest festival
  • Make a food hamper to take to harvest festival
  • Have a halloween party tea
  • Watch a spooky film
  • Go trick-or-treating 
  • Make a picture out of autumn leaves
  • Bake a pumpkin pie
  • Carve a pumpkin
  • Make apple crisps 
  • Make leaf angles on an autumn walk
What's your favourite thing to do in autumn?

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

The Day Bear Stood

I am Bears biggest fan, I cheer him on the most (actually that might just be Diddly but you get where I'm coming from), I am the positive to the Dr's negative or realistic as they like to call it and have always worked hard with him to prove them wrong. The day I sat in the room with Dr's and physios and they told me that I wasn't to expect much from Bear my world fell apart, they planned to run further tests and keep his physio going but the expectations for him were very low, he would probably never rollover, sitting was out of the question and walking well if he wouldn't hold himself sitting how on earth was he going to walk. Tears rolled down my face uncontrollably as some how I kept asking questions and listening to all they had to say before heading home all the while all the hopes and dreams I had for Bear feeling like they were vanishing. When I was pregnant with him Diddly used to sit talking to him and telling him all the things they could get up to once he arrived, telling him how she would love him and cuddle him, they could play together run around the park together, all those hopes and dreams were moving further and further away. Diddly how on earth would I tell her my heart sunk the lowest it has in the whole time I had been caring for Bear, it sunk for him and it sunk for her and I grieved for a life I thought we were going to have together and i thought they were going to have. That night I lay in bed unable to sleep with the days events whizzing around in my head replaying what they had said over and over until I just stopped I lay there and thought no not my Bear, we will work hard together he will walk it must be possible. I made it very clear to the Dr's and of his team I am grateful for their opinion I am willing to carry on with their train of thought and work hard together but he will prove them wrong together we will prove them wrong.

Watching your child hit their milestone on the magical charts of when babies should do things is brilliant for every parent and makes us all so proud, Diddly hit every one early and has always raced ahead with everything she is a bright, intelligent articulate little thing and I am super proud of her. In order to keep me focused I put those precious memories in a little keepsake box in my head to be looked at at a later date because there is nothing worse than comparing one child to another they all do things in their own time and I was just very fortunate to never have any concerns with her. Bear and I worked hard daily on the exercises his physio gave us and one day long after the magical charts said he could he help his head up by himself, months later he rolled over. to begin with only one way one side was obviously weaker than the other so took much more work but eventually he did it and ll with a smile on his face. We worked hard on everything they gave us, him the hardest of all and eventually he commando crawled then crawled and now he crawls so fast I'm running after him sometimes. He hit every milestone months after he should have done but he worked harder than anyone else I know to do it and he kept going everyday even when he was so poorly he didn't want to and he smiled every time. This little boy is the most determined little soul I know and his sister and I are always right by this side cheering him on, catching him when he falls and helping him back up to try it all over again.

So far my little Bear has surpassed every expectation to the point where the Dr's are now saying lets see what he can do next. He is weak and it does take him a long time and a lot of hard work but wow, just wow! I will never know where he drags that strength and determination from some days. Days when I can see the pain he is in and the determination on his face not to give up but to try one more time, days where he needs cuddles and carrying a lot because his arms and legs collapse underneath him and he wobbles and goes floppy and falls over bur he still tries his hardest to keep going.

I will never ever forget the first time he has reached any of the milestones he was told he wouldn't and I will have etched in my brain forever the day he pulled himself up to standing wobbly legged and leaning over the toy unit to support his torso and hold some of his weight before calling me to help because he was stuck and couldn't sit back down. I will never ever forget the day I walked down the stairs and saw him stood in the middle of my parents living room with the biggest smile on his face, teddy in hand they proudest I have ever seem him, legs wobbling away but he was doing it standing on his own! I ran to him gave him the biggest thumbs up well done, clap, smiles, tears and cuddles. Now every time he stands he gives me that same smile, you can see on his face he wants to follow his sister so he sits back down and crawls after her at super fast speed before standing up next to her.

With a bit more time, a lot more hard work and a bucket full of determination I just know this boy will walk.